Now, therefore, be it Resolved, That the House of Representatives—
(1) recognizes the importance of the symbols and traditions of Christmas;
(2) strongly disapproves of attempts to ban references to Christmas; and
(3) expresses support for the use of these symbols and traditions, for those who celebrate Christmas.
Well, I’m glad we got that sorted out. We’re all a lot safer now that our hard-working representatives are focusing their attentions on very important empty resolutions to protect things that aren’t in need of protection. Now they can all add “succumbed to pointless and divisive campaign of partisan rhetoric to make a partial syllogism into a federal document” to their resumés.
Merry Christmas, everyone! I said be Merry, dammit!