Jdimytai Damour, hero of American consumers everywhere, died 11/29/2008. He gave his life so New York City shoppers could obtain only the best deals for their family and themselves this Christmas at Wal-Mart. If only the unnamed 28-year-old pregnant woman who so valiantly dove underfoot could have also given her life and the life of her near-term fetus so that others could save. Her selfless act will not go unremembered this Christmas.
It is these brave souls who remind us that the War for Christmas is alive and well in America. Stand strong you bargain hunters. You remind us all why Santa Claus wears red.
My man SWEATS sarcasm.